Sheryl Sandberg’s new “Ban Bossy” campaign, sponsored by Lean In and Girl Scouts of America, has garnered much attention on social media within the last week. Many women are criticizing the campaign saying that instead of encouraging the expansion of women’s abilities and rights, the campaign is another example of women causing negativity to be associated with feminism.
The word “ban” has a negative connotation as it is. To associate this negative term with a feminist campaign perpetuates the idea that feminism is a negative concept, when it should be a positive one. Furthermore, it seems almost petty, and honestly ineffective, to have a campaign that centers around banning a single word in the English language. While it is probably true that more women than men are called “bossy,” I am not sure whether the word is so offensive and gendered that we need to “ban” it. Furthermore, the true issue here is not the word itself but the way in which society still perceives women. Banning a word will not bring about a change in societal perceptions.
Of course, the entire campaign is not only trying to get rid of the word “bossy.” Its true intent is to encourage and foster female leadership. However, if that is the central cause, Sandberg should reconsider the name of this campaign. There is no doubt that our society often refers to powerful women using negative terms, which is what Sandberg is trying to combat. The issue is that using another negative term to dissuade society from referring to female leaders in a negative way only continues the negativity.
I feel Sandberg’s pain. As an assertive female myself, I have often been criticized for my behavior being “unladylike” or “masculine.” I have just always had the same attitude as Kelis in her song “Bossy”: “You don’t have to love me/ You don’t even have to like me/ But you will respect me/ You know why? / Cause I’m a boss.” The truly messed up part of the whole situation is the fact that it is always other women who have called me out for this and have classified strength and assertiveness as male qualities, not female ones. This is the real problem with our society, the fact that women themselves stigmatize those women who show any signs of leadership.
Sandberg’s heart is in the right place. She just isn’t going about this the right way. To empower women to be leaders, we need to encourage each other to use positive terminology when referring to one another, not simply discourage the use of negative terminology. We need to tell girls that it is okay to be aggressive and powerful and that these are not gendered qualities – because we all need a few more sassy sisters ruling the world.
Girls, Who Run the World? 
Interesting post. I agree that they are going about this the wrong way by trying to ban “bossy”. I’ve always been of the belief that meaning comes from people and not words. The word “bossy” has never been one that I particularly would associate with women and with this campaign I think that they divert attention from the real issue. Its so messed up how our society builds up these images of men and women that we’re expected to live up to. Sometimes it seems like second nature and you can automatically recognize when someone is acting outside of their expected roles. If there was just some way we could shake people up and make them aware that these images are socially constructed, and there is no reason why women should be expected to act within the socially acceptable norms.
I recently wrote a post very similar to yours (http://whatdidtedsay.blogspot.com/2014/03/im-not-bossy-im-boss.html), and I agree with your opinion that Sandberg is not going about this the right way. I think that teaching women that it is okay to lead and exemplify more leadership qualities is actually good, and they should not be upset if someone calls them bossy for exerting leadership qualities at such a young age.
Nice post!
I thought your argument for why the wording of the campaign is harmful was an interesting take. I hadn’t considered that angle at all. I definitely think that people are generally more motivated by encouragement than criticisms. I have definitely found that I am more engaged in a class, club, etc when I receive positive feedback for my efforts, than when I feel like I am being stoned with constant negativity and criticisms.
I also agree that feminism can sometimes have a negative connotation to it, as evidenced by terms like feminazi and man hater, or the unwillingness with many female celebrities to be associated with the term. But I think the “negative Nancy” attitudes people associate with feminists stem from their willingness to point out inequalities. Lets face it, there is no positive way to frame gender inequality. Or, I am not going to write an article on how I am “So pumped men assume I don’t know how to set up a tent, read a topography map, or light a whisper lite stove, because I am a woman!”. The first step in making a change, is recognizing a problem. If gender equality were a reality there would be no need for campaigns like “Ban Bossy”.
It’s a tough call, while I agree positive slogans are more appealing than negative ones, I can also see how sometimes negativity is justified. I also worry that a more positive slogan would come off as cheesy? It could definitely be done well. But as a kid I definitely remember a lot of cheesy, overly positive ads made by adults that seemed so out of touch with my reality at the time.
I don’t know if you’ve seen this music video by Jenifer Lopez on her song “I love you papi” but it made my day when I watched it. It is quite fascinating that even media began touching upon this issues and began criticizing different societal inequalities and mistreatment of women. This music video begins by JLo and her girlfriends being presented with different ideas for the music video on her new song “I love you papi.” All these ideas are absolutely ridiculous and absurd and all over sudden one of the girlfriend gets upset and speaks up. She raises an important issue that it’s not even a question when it comes to male music videos. All of the music videos of male artists are full of naked females through out the entire video, jumping in the pools, lying all around bedrooms and yachts. Here JLo begins daydreaming and the actual music video begins. Just imagine any rapper’s music videos and then reverse it. Tons of young, hot, half naked guys walking around, being poured champagne on, getting their butts slapped and etc.
The video was very funny and curious. It was disturbing to a degree too. These young men were objectified, diminished in their importance, used up and basically humiliated. But these methods are used every day in millions of music videos that we hit ‘like’ buttons all the time. These traditions are too old and we are ready for a change.
I agree with sotoroch. Trying to substitute the word “bossy” with something else may be too difficult. We need to be more concerned about the way young people are thinking. The only problem is, they may take the campaign the wrong way since they are kids. Some people may interpret it as not being allowed to call girls “bossy” anymore. Because interpretation can be subjective, the campaign needs to work on being more specific in what they are trying to convey.